Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I’ll be watching you
- “Every Breath You Take,” written by Sting
On June 23, 1983, I was hit by a car while riding a bicycle. I had just turned 14 and had graduated from 8th grade. I remember laying on the ground, bleeding, crying, hurting. I remember seeing my friend’s mom, who was behind the driver who hit me. She sat with me until the ambulance arrived. She was a nurse, so her presence was very comforting.
When the ambulance arrived, the EMT’s put an air cast on my left leg to hold it together. I remember that being incredibly painful. They loaded me into the ambulance, and we took off, sirens blaring, toward the hospital. The hospital was about five miles away. My mom’s office was right next door to the facility.
As we drove, it seemed as if the sirens we turned off. I remember this vividly – the song “Every Breath You Take,” by the Police - was playing inside the ambulance.
I remember then laying on a gurney, somewhere in a hallway at the hospital. I heard my moms footsteps – the clicking of her heels – and her crying and talking. I don’t remember seeing her. I was then in the operating room, and someone putting the mask over my face.
I woke up sometime later – in a hospital room – with my dad.
After the accident, I was then in a cast for over a year and half. I was in a cast for all of my freshman year of high school, and half of my sophmore year. I had four surgeries to correct the damage to my tibia and fibia. I missed on the Junior Olympics, which I had qualified for as a swimmer. I missed out on a lot. But I also gained a lot.
Nine days ago, I had yet another surgery to fix my tibia, fibia and now my ankle. It’s the gift that keeps giving. (That song, damn it, seems really prophetic.)
I’m writing about it now because I need to. I alternate between being incredibly thankful, hopeful and excited about my fixed leg. And because I’m human, I also feel angry, sad, and alone as I lay in bed and recover. I am struggling to keep up and to feel like I’m really there for my kids right now. I’m trying to keep my eyes on the prize with a sense of humor. (I rented a scooter to take my kids trick-or-treating, that should be really humorous!)
There are many stories to tell about this accident. And this is just the beginning.
**Many thanks to my other mother, Linda Franchi, for sending me this picture. She helped carry me across this beach!
Debbie,
I admire your positive attitude and outlook. It is so important to count our blessings and look ahead. It sounds like you’re setting a wonderful example for your children. I would love to see a picture of you on your rented scooter taking your kids trick-or-treating, Maybe that will be in your next post! Thanks for sharing.
So wonderful that you can write about this traumatic experience with wit and humor. So funny how a song can suddenly whip us back in time to certain event whether it be a pleasant or unpleasant memory, we are suddenly there..reliving it all, thanks to a few bars of music and a couple of lyrics.
I wish you a speedy and painless recovery and perhaps you can play that song while you do something wonderful and make a new memory.
Julie Labes: The Fun-Loving, Feisty, Fearless, Frisky, Fierce Over 50 Traveler
Debbie, I am amazed at how you write about this with such strength and resolve (and the exchange between your husband and you in the comments was so sweet, it brought tears to my eyes). I’m reading this a bit late but hope you are feeling better and in much less pain (and with a bunch of candy from trick or treating!).
Trish
http://www.robertssister.com
caregiving. family. advocacy.
My goodness, but that’s a long story for your leg. I would love to think this is the final chapter, but maybe you don’t know that yet. I’m so glad you were able to begin writing about it. That kind of story lives so powerfully within us and has a lot to tell others, no matter what part of it you tell or where you begin. I hope that writing is comforting as you try to recuperate. As for the scooter–great idea! Of course, you could make that part of a terrific costume if you wished! Sending you healing thoughts.
Judy Stone-Goldman
The Reflective Writer
http://www.thereflectivewriter.com
Personal-Professional Balance Through Writing
I am so inspired by your ability to write, with humor and grace, when you are in bed recovering! That’s a triumph right there.
You’ve been through this before…but does that make it easier? or more difficult because you are still dealing with an accident that happened so many years ago?
Please know that the pups and I will put our hands (and paws) in prayer for your speedy and full recovery.
Heidi & Atticus
http://www.atticusuncensored.com
“commentary to give you paws…”
Hi Debbie,
what a story!
I know the feeling with the song… I hope you’ll get well soon, have a quick recovery (or as long as it takes!),
Franziska San Pedro
The Abstract Impressionist Artress
Debbie,
I am sorry that you are still experiencing problems so many years after your accident. Your strength is an inspiration to others but especially your family. Hand in there.
Good luck to you,
Happy blogging,
Jenn
If found you thru our bloggers group on linkedin. Your story though traumatic is inspiring. You are a survivor and have demonstrated incredible resilience. I bet your difficulties have created qualities that make you more extraordinarily than the typical mom. I can only imagine the stories, strength and support that you must convey to and teach your children because of your experiences. I’m thinking of that saying “God doesn’t give you anything that you can’t handle.” In your case, you are not handling it, but your children are benefiting.
Having been hit by a car recently, 4/16/11, I can relate to the horror of such an occurrence. I wasn’t hurt nearly as badly as you were, but it was traumatic nevertheless. It made me more grateful for each day I am given. It also made me much more eager to share my love with as many people and animals as possible.
I’m grateful you’re here, Debbie.
I am so sorry you went through this but it sounds like you’re really strong from it & that’s great.
Thank you Debbie, I can not get that song out of my head since I read your blog. Although, “Every step you take” amazes me on how much strength you have to take on this surgery and your inner strength to heal. What Debbie left out is how she has been in serious pain as well as wearing a cast or leg boot on and off for the last several years.
Some of you saw Debbie climbing the 31st st. hill this summer to the beach, carting the kids around to all the activities, games and working a full time job at the office or sometimes from bed. Life changed for Debbie, but she never change the Momma in her during this challenging time.
Debbie gives me strength everyday. Fortunately, you will heal and we will laugh together next year as we trick or treat our neighborhood.
Thanks, Babe! You are the best husband in the world. I’m so lucky to have you at my side on this clumsy ride through life!!! I love you!
I think it’s awesome that you got the scooter. You go pimp out that ride and enjoy the night with your family. I actually did something similar when I was on limited activity with one of my pregnancies. We all still chuckle about the time I did Disney on a Rascal Scooter. This too shall pass and you’ll be stronger in the end. PS we’re the same age and I was hit by a car, while riding a bike in June 1983 as well. I was luckier. I only needed stitches. You’re an incredibly strong woman.
Ciaran – That’s wild about your accident!
I rode the scooter to the kids costume parade today. It’s awesome!!!
Thank you for your support!
Love
Debbie
I was hit by a car, too, when I was 11. Your description of the bits and pieces of memories fading in and out rather than as a coherent timeline really ring true, and you’ve written it so well. I hope that this is the last surgery you’ll ever need.
Hi Jenn – Thank you, so much! I hope it’s the last surgery, too.
Debbie
Hang in there Mama Goldberg! I want you to know that your strength, determination, and positivity as well as your humor are to be admired and let me tell you, Debbie I truly admire you and always have! We love you lots and hope for a speedy and healthy recovery! Enjoy scooting around on Halloween with the kiddos and give them all my love! Take lots of pictures! Big (((hugs))) to all the Goldbergs!
Hi Vicki – Thank you! I miss you guys. You two would love my scooter!
XO
Debbie
I am so sorry to read that this is something that you had to go through, and something that you are still going through.
I hope that your recovery is safe and speedy and that you get lots of Newfie smooches from your gang:)
Hi Jen – Thank you! Sunny is afraid of me right now – the walker scares his! The other ones, I think, could care less, as long as they get their treats, snacks and love!
XO
Debbie
My friend, you are a helluva a woman! This has not held you back in any way that anyone would see, only in ways that you may feel sometimes. And now, as this new chapter of the saga begins, you will become even more unstoppable!
I look forward to reading future posts.
Lisa Vitale
http://www.lisawifemom.wordpress.com
Thank you, Lisa. I’m lucky to have friends like you in my life! XO
Debbie
I remember a big green trashbag so you could go in the water. I also remember that you told me all the cute boys offered to carry your books in school and I secretly wished I had a cast for that reason. I dont remember you ever feeling sorry for yourself or letting that cast hold you back.
What does not kill you only makes you stronger. And you are a strong woman! love you
Hi Jen – That’s funny! I would have traded in an instant back then! And weird timing for you that I sent you this yesterday after what happened… love you!
Debbie
Wow, Debbie. That is quite a journey. I wish you the best of luck as you heal for hopefully the final time. It is never fun to be in a cast, have surgery or not feel 100% but my bet is you will step up to the plate (even if it’s on one leg!) and do brilliantly! Let others take care of you now – your kids will get a kick out of it I am sure and it will teach them a valuable lesson, too. Mom is fallible! Keep us posted on your recovery!
Hi Laurie – Thank you! I tried out my scooter today – and we all laughed a lot. It’s a great tool, though, and I’m glad I have it!
Debbie
Wow, I can’t imagine.
Well, there’s one think I know – you may be alone in that room for a moment, but you are NEVER alone. You have such a strong support group of friends and family. You are blessed. Luckily, we can’t always trust our feelings either. You shine for your kids, they are wonderful people because they have YOU.
…but you know all this already.
This is one Halloween they won’t forget, remember to have someone get a picture!
xoxo
R
Aw, Rose. You are so wonderful. Thank you for your wonderful comments. You made me smile! Happy Halloween to you and your beautiful family!
XO
Debbie